August November 2007 May, 2012 edit:

Attempting to revamp. This journal, like so many others, is partially friends-only.

Open to public:
- Some non-smut fics/drabbles.
- Most fandom rants.
- Potential non-personal study abroad posts.

Friends-only:
- Extra fics/drabbles/incompletes.
- Most smut fics.
- Fan SoundTracks (FSTs)
- Some fanart scribbles and photos.
- Certain real life things (very rare, usually school- and academia-oriented).

In regards to fandoms - my tags are disproportionate to my interests. Although I have been in many fandoms over the years, only particular ones are centered around my LJ. Any fanfiction or fandom rants written before 2007 will not be found here (which means go to FF.Net account for my terrible Harry Potter, Batman, and Zelda fanfics) and my Naruto fanfics never made it to light (go to my NF account for essays). Here, you will primarily find fics and rants for: Trinity Blood (2007), Gundam 00 (2008-2009), and Avengers (2012-).

Please leave a comment somewhere if you do, as I like to know who is friending me. You only have to leave ONE comment saying why you're friending me. I get sick of random people friending me and never saying who they are.

So lokisarmy is officially open!

I also wanted to leave a quick question for anyone who has seen the Avengers:

Does Loki change his speech patterns depending on each person he is talking to? I noticed that in The Avengers, the way he speaks changes dramatically when he talks to Thor. I need to go see it again to see if he does it with other characters, as well, or if it's just as Asgard-Midgard thing. He was pointedly attempting to traumatize Natasha, so I'm not sure if that scenario could be counted. He seems to be even more unhinged when he's talking to Stark, but I could be imagining that, because he seemed just as bad when he was in Stuttgart. Just another excuse to see it again, no?


Oh yes, is this news to anyone else?

I'm referring to the part that says "Tom Hiddleston will still have a big part as antagonist Loki". Everything I've read until today only confirmed that he would be in the movie and have some role to play; I haven't seen anything about a "big part", so I don't know if this is just assumed on the writer's part or confirmed. Also can't tell if this means Loki is still a bad guy, or if he's just using the term "antagonist" in the general sense.

Grades came out and I'm still somehow clinging to that 4.0. The fact that the department chair for the doctorate program I want to apply to gave me an A on that terrifying assignment where I went off-topic to write about Loki gives me some small hope. I've been really worried about getting a poor grade on it, because if that happened I could just completely forget applying this fall.

I saw Avengers again yesterday with my father and my brother, and it was mildly uncomfortable. My father didn't like it at all, which both was and wasn't surprising. His favorite Marvel character is Captain America, and you have to admit he kind of got the shaft in this movie. Iron Man was the one who dealt with the nuke. Thor was the main villain's brother. Hawkeye was a bad guy for half of it. Black Widow was the one who closed the portal. Hulk was the one who shut Loki up. Cap didn't really have any BIG SPECIAL MOMENT, nor did he have a really unique role in it, so I can see where a big fan of his might be a little disappointed, I guess. Looking at it that way kind of put a damper on everything for a few hours. Then I decided that hey, Cap was the only one who had a canon fanboy (and a canon fangirl), so he cares if his moment of awesomeness was only saving some civilians from generic aliens? PLEASE PROVE HIM WRONG, F-LIST.

Meanwhile, lokisarmy is coming along wonderfully, thanks to x_erikah_x (designer) and blood_sorbet (fellow maintainer). I AM VERY EXCITED FOR SOME REASON. We should be 'open' for new members and posting by the end of the week.

There is a licensed unisex cologne for Loki, but there is no LJ community specifically for him? What nonsense is this?

I know the Loki fandom seems to be predominantly on Tumblr but it seems pretty large here, too, so this surprises me.

I even managed to get the username "lokisarmy" and may try to make something of it.

If there is some Marvelverse Loki fan community already, please tell me so I don't go spend 6 hours trying to make a pretty layout for a redundant community.

I mentioned making a semi-introduction about myself for all those I friended from the Avengers and Loki memes. I also figured I'd do this in part for my old LJ friends, as I've been away from the website for years, really.

So hi! I hail from the Boston area and go by the name PikaCheeka. I'm 25 and have been in fandoms of various sorts for the last 14 years now (and have always been PikaCheeka).
( A tiny bit about my school/work/other fandoms; feel free to skip )

Now for the stuff that matters.

Loki Business.

Fandom Background:
I am relatively new, or almost entirely new, to the fandom, so I apologize for any idiocy. I grew up on my father's comics, which were primarily from the 60s-80s. Luckily Thor was one of his favorites, so I learned about Loki pretty early. Once I got to high school I strayed from the comics and never really got involved in the fandoms. Since then I had a stint in the Batman fandom for about a year, and one in X-Men that was a little less than a year. I loved the movie Thor and lurked the fandom for a bit, and now after Avengers I've finally decided to get involved. Unfortunately, most of my knowledge is limited to OLD comics I read 10-15 years ago. Barring a few fragments I've picked up here and there and what summaries I've read online, I'm hopelessly behind. Luckily sumeragiskank gave me a list that can get me going, but because I'll be out of the country for a while, I don't know how much I'll be able to read. This means that there's a strong possibility I will still be out-of-the-loop for the next three months, as a warning. So in the meantime, my fics will be movie-centric.

Fanfiction:
My fics are nothing special; most are extremely short and never go anywhere. Lately I've been big on dialogue-heavy fics that read more like plays than normal fiction, which I've been trying to move away from. I do write smut (terribly), so expect to see that thrown around, too. It will likely all be ThorKi and FrostIron (really IronFrost but I've never seen that term before).

Other fandom contributions:
I LOVE making FSTs, though I make them very slowly and have very odd taste in music. You will definitely be seeing those from time to time. I can't draw but at times I may post some terribly embarrassing fanart for the lulz. It's even worse than Hiddleston's fanart.

The character of Loki:
Oh man. This is what I was looking forward to typing up, and really all I wanted to type up, but now that I'm here I don't know what to say.

Loki, quite simply, doesn't know what he wants, and likely never will know. He wants recognition. He wants love. He also wants absolute destruction and chaos. Upbringing notwithstanding, there was always something inherently....mad about him, a madness that also had nothing to do with his blood (though he likely inherited some brutish cruelty there). He is obsessively curious, ever pushing the limits, wanting to know just how far he can take things and push people before everything explodes. Once chaos is achieved, he rapidly rearranges things so that it can never fit together again. He wants to ensure that anyone who has ever met him never fully 'recovers'; he wants to be forever lurking, terrorizing the minds of everyone. He does this both out of an outward belief he is superior, and a deep-seated fear that he is inferior. Perhaps it isn't even so much of longing for chaos as it is a necessity.

His "loss" of the throne only sent him further into madness, as he realized that what little future he had was a lie. He believes he has no place in the world any longer, and therefore wants to ensure that nobody else shall ever have a place. If he can destroy the world, bring it to its knees so he can rule it, then he alone shall have a place to belong and nothing, nobody can threaten that place again.

Because he knows he is smarter than most everyone he meets, and has abilities no human or Asgardian could ever have due to his magics, he is hopelessly arrogant. He is superior to others in many ways and knows it. However, he is self-conscious about his non-Asgardian attributes: his physical weaknesses and his inclination to more passive fighting, in particular. He is keenly aware that he is nowhere near as loved as Thor in his realm, and prior to knowing his true heritage, he blamed himself. Though he now (at least pretends) to lay the blame on everyone but himself, he never recovered from his childhood of self-loathing and insecurity.

I believe he deeply loves Thor, more than anyone and anything, and significantly more than himself, but his pride and his fear prevent him from ever admitting it. Because of this, he does everything in his power to push his brother back; he believes that if he had a choice, he would have Thor despise him, though at the same time, he fears he doesn't want that and can't live with it. Thor is a torment to him, terrorizing him with his patience, determination, and trust. He wishes Thor would let him be, but if Thor were ever to give up on him, it would completely destroy Loki. In a sense, his brother's love for him, and his obsessive desire to end it, is what keeps him going. He knows that he is forever walking along the edge of self-destruction in pushing Thor back, but he knows no other way to live.

Along those lines, he does have lingering love for his parents, and despite what he may say, he knows they will always take him back as his son if he chose to go back. However, because he knows he was intended to be an instrument for peace, he is ever aware that their love, genuine as it may be, is not and never was as "pure" as his brother's love for him. Therefore it is easier to dismiss.

Like others here, I don't believe there can ever be a happy ending for Loki, especially when you compare it to the original mythology (which I am guilty of doing). Things may go well for him for a time, but his obsessive insecurities, uncontrollable bitter jealousies, and general inclination to chaos will always prevail. He is ever moving down the path of no return, and even though Thor succeeds in dragging him back into the light from time to time, he will always turn back. Miserable as he is, he needs conflict to survive. Like the serpent at the roots of Yggdrasil, he can only live be destroying those things that, deep down, he loves and desperately longs to accept.


If you disagree with anything, or would like to correct me with canon, please do. That's simply how I've come to perceive him and is in no way absolute.

Extra:
I hope to pick up some awesome Thor/Avengers doujinshi (basically fanmade comics which are porn 75% of the time) at Comiket in Tokyo this August and at some doujin shops there, and will be happy to grab copies for those who are interested. If over the next three months you hear of a doujin artist who will be at Comiket, let me know (and if possible tell me what table they'll be at; artists usually post it) and if all goes well, I should be able to get what you want. : D

The Outsider
Loki = inferiority complex, arrogant, bitter, genius, greasy black hair, wears green

The Maura- Avengers
Thor = semi-stereotyped hero, arrogant, goofy, brave, kind, wears red
Ironman = snarky playboy joker; always 'fighting' with Thor
Hulk = shy, brilliant, nervous, uncontrollably turns into a big scary monster
Captain America = a little ditzy, fanboyish...doesn't fit well but is maybe secretly a Nazi

The Lady
Black Widow = red-haired, immune to guy-pranks.
(and hey doesn't she have a daughter with Thor in one of the cartoon series?)

DO YOU SEE THE RESEMBLANCE?

I SEE IT.

LOL.

Just bought another year of a paid account and I have no idea why, considering the fact that I posted here maybe half a dozen times in 2010.

Ah well. Sentimental attachment, I suppose. Maybe I can get into this place again if I can find an adequate Naruto fandom group. If not, it was a waste. We shall see.

So for anyone who is still even following this, I'm alive. Just not here anymore but for comments.

It's been over a year since I stopped being active in the G00 fandom (so I doubt anyone from there reads this anymore, as the fandom has dispersed), but I'm still obsessing over the movie. Watching the trailers again and I realized something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFEo7i7yTak

Look closely at second 50.

That is undeniably Hallelujah. Fuck yes.

Pity I won't be in Japan when it comes out though. If only it were coming out a month earlier. As it is, I'll probably have to wait a long time to actually see it.

I'm spending most of my time online now here.

Anyone going to Anime Boston this year?

I actually don't know that many people going this year and I actually have a hotel this time around.

So if you're going, leave a comment or PM me!

Lily is officially finished.

Her site will be up until the 19th, and she left over 50 new pics for us, but yea. She's done with art.

She was what got me into this fandom, and now I feel like it's all over.

I don't even feel stupid about crying over this.